Just Another Day at Work

27 12 2010

I saved a child’s life at work on Christmas Eve. Just sayin’.

A mom with her probably 5 year old son and 2 year old daughter was looking at our water bottles display. They are very lightweight and the woman ended up knocking a few over, with some falling to the floor. She was very apologetic and I did my best to ease her embarrassment, helping her to pick them up and place them back on the shelf. As I was walking away I heard her tell her son, “Don’t touch anything, because I don’t want you to knock something on the floor.” With a voice utterly devoid of smart mouth and completely innocent, the boy said, “Like you just did, Mama?” Fortunately I was still in her eyesight so she knew I was still a potential witness. Fortunately I didn’t laugh out loud. Fortunately she couldn’t see the big smile on my face.

Sell mattress sets – sometimes.

Sell small kitchen appliances, bedding, and curtain stuff – check.

Stock the floor, fold towels, straighten up the floor – check.

Save a child – priceless.

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I’ve got the blahs

17 12 2010

Its not unusual to have this blah-ness at this time of year. I’m probably going to call one of the colleges in town and make an appointment with a therapist-in-training, but it will be after the new year when school resumes. I’m thinking my anti-depressants may not be working as effectively as before; I’m tired all the time and feeling that maybe my best days are behind me and afraid I’ll never meet the woman of my dreams. I’m wondering if life has passed me by. My mantra has been “I refuse to die an unlived life” (Dawna Markova), but I don’t feel like I’m living any life at all. I know I should embrace this transitional time, even though it’s going on 3 years. Will this be my life? Living with relatives and friends because I cannot become financially able on a salary of $7.25 at a part-time job? I know that won’t happen since I’m now halfway through my online coursework to become a pharmacy tech, and the pay will be better  but will I be able to live on my own again? That was one of the great things about having a teaching job – I knew how much money was going to come in every month, even during the summers because I took my paycheck over 12 months instead of 10.

I need to do a few things before I make a final decision about therapy. #1, I need to get back to a better sleep pattern. Because I’ve been working mostly afternoon and evening shifts, I’ve gotten into the habit of staying up into the wee hours of the morning. The average time I turn off the computer, TV and lights – 3:00 a.m. No wonder I’m tired all the time! Hello, my name is Anne and I’m a FreeCell, Minesweeper and Facebook junkie. At least if I turned off the TV and computer and read instead, I’d fall asleep faster. #2, I have to remember that this is historically a hard time of the year for me, and so keep looking and telling myself what is good about this season and keep my eye on the Star over Bethlehem. #3, I need to keep looking outside of my own little world. I’m fine when I’m at work and interacting with people. I need to make sure I don’t let myself isolate and cut myself off from the living.

So, I’ll do all of the above, and if, after the season and the better sleep pattern develops and I’m on a more suitable track, if I’m still feeling blah then maybe it is time to consider changing my antidepressants. The fee to go to a therapist-in-training is minimal and very affordable.

I want to live the life I’ve encouraged others to live – be bold, fight fear and live joyfully.





Here’s the deal

6 09 2010

So I’ve been really wrestling with the thesis of that unnerving book I wrote about awhile ago. If there’s no external God; if all there is is the goodness that is within us; if there is no heaven; then what’s the point? There’s got to be some greater force outside of ourselves that we feed into, because if everything is just up to all of us acting out of the goodness of our hearts, then we’re screwed. I don’t see goodness winning over evil in our world.

I think of different situations where a Greater Power had to have been present. There’s no way I could forgive my offenders in my own strength. There’s too many stories from friends and others I’ve read that make it impossible for the good in us to have powered the miraculous changes that occurred in lives.

 I’ve decided I’ll just have to keep believing in an external God because I feel so lost and hopeless without it.





Interesting characters

21 08 2010

I’ve met some interesting people while working at Sears. Some of the more noteworthy are the Church Lady; Mr. Dapper and Mr. D.O.M.

On the very first day I was out on the floor, I met the Church Lady. She wore a simple print dress and her hair was long and held back with hair clips. My stereotype of the very conservative Christian, Psalm 31 woman.

“Hello, Ma’am, may I ring up your things?”

“Yes, of course. Bless you.”

“Why, thank you. Did you find everything you needed?”

“Oh, yes, thankyouLordJesus.”

And so the conversation went. Every response from her ended with something like “BlessyouLordJesus”; “ThankyoudearLord”; “HalllelujahpraiseGod” . . . and so on. And we talked quite awhile. She was really a nice woman.

Mr. Dapper was an older gentleman, probably in his mid-to-late 70s. He was dressed really nicely – linen shirt and pants – real snazzy. I greeted him with a “my, you look very dapper” and it tickled him that somebody would actually know that word. So I called him Mr. Dapper and he really liked it. He even referred to his wife as “Mrs. Dapper.” Such a sweet man.

Mr. D.O.M. was as old or even older than Mr. Dapper, but he wasn’t very sweet. I had sold him a mattress set about a month before. He had returned to buy a mattress pad and we ended up having a long chat as he looked for his purchase. As I was describing the differences between some of the product, he suddenly said, “That arouses me.” Well, all righty then! The best I could come back with was, “Well, good luck with that.” Thus I named him Mr. D.O.M. – Dirty Old Man. 





Inspired by Carolyn Online

19 08 2010
  • Why do you hate everything and everybody?
  • Your daughter is your best accomplishment – don’t blow it.
  • I intend to die with as few regrets as possible.
  • One regret – not being near my nephews and nieces during their childhoods.
  • Changing one’s theology or political viewpoint or ANY viewpoint is hard – but so worth it. Give a different idea a chance.
  • Why are you so afraid to think outside your friggin’ box?
  • It really hurts that you would believe someone you knew for all of six weeks over someone you’ve known 17 years.
  • Smug people suck – no matter what their political or religious beliefs.
  • Contrary to your popular opinion, you really don’t know everything.
  • I miss teaching, but I don’t miss what it would have taken to stay at the last school I taught at.
  • Smug people really suck.




The appeal of celebrity

9 08 2010

I’ve always been fascinated by celebrity. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have a stadium-full of people, or a standing room only crowd in a theater cheering wildly for me. But that is all predicated on my being able to do something. If I’m a nice person, that’s all the better. Or so I used to think. If I could produce in the sports or music or acting world, then how I am perceived would be very important; enough to become a person I might not be. Think Kirby Puckett, OJ Simpson, Alex Rodriquez, Lindsay Lohann. Or, the public could “like me, really really like me” and then get bored with that and would want to bring “back down to earth.” So many celebrities go through that – Oprah, Dr. Phil and countless others. And yet . . . Fame is cheap, I think. I watch “reality shows” of the rich and famous. I’m hooked on Tori Spelling’s show, I’m embarrassed to say, as well as “Real Housewives of Orange County” (but only because a former student is a regular on it.) As I’ve grown older and seen the pitfalls of celebrity, sometimes its still not enough to be glad that I’m just one of a gazillion other “no-names.” I’ve come to realize it’s at those moments of wanting celebrity that I’m really wanting recognition, to be seen – and I realize the fire behind the wishful thinking is loneliness.

There is a difference between greatness and celebrity. There are a lot of celebrities who are not of admirable character, and a lot of “ordinary” people who are. Kudos to the celebrities who are able to be of great character as well as talented. And may I be a person of great character even though I’ll never be known to the world.





Just me

9 08 2010

The reason I entitled my blog “Just Me” is because I have come to the point in my life of wanting to be just me. I don’t want to be who I think I should be in order to curry favor with any person or group. I will be myself. I will be authentic. I won’t hide anymore.